Finding Meditation By Means Of Attentiveness
If you're just starting off to learn meditation, either as part of a guided meditation group or on your own, you sit for five or ten minutes each sitting; try to sit every day at the same time, morning or evening, whichever suits you right. You allow the daily five to ten minutes to increase to fifteen or twenty minutes when the weeks go by, but you by no means try and force the pace.
Meditation isn't about tightening the teeth in tenacity. It's about sitting calmly with yourself, and while it requires its own kind of self control this has nothing to do with toughness than with soft and letting go.
When the inevitable thoughts or feelings turn up, you permit them to pass in and out of awareness like clouds pass in water. You don't try to push them away, but leave them to go of their own accord. Irrespective of how 'important' the thinking seem to be or how compelling or demanding the emotions, you don't hold on to them or let one thought or emotion to set off another and another till you are off on an inattentiveness path that takes you further and further from the simple point of the in-breath and the out-breath.
If, however, you do lose control, gently but firmly come back to your breathing the moment you realize this has cropped up. Avoid being intolerant with yourself or convincing yourself you'll never pick up how to meditate. Your wandering mind is simply showing to you just how much you have to practice your meditation techniques. It is supporting you, prompting you, showing you how little control you have over your own thoughts. The right response is gratitude, thankfulness towards that part of your mind that has realized you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.
I cannot overstress how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you trouble yourself each time you become aware you are disoriented in thought, you will not only be arousing the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be training your mind not to remind you when it is wandering in the future. You are in effect punishing it every time for reminding you, and surely it doesn't like being punished. So it will prompt you less and less often, and you will find attention becomes harder and harder. In response to the frustration that this brings, your mind will then start whispering convincingly to you that meditation is a total waste of time, and that you would be well advised to find something much better to do with your time.
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